Carlos Santos

yeah the served agency relationship thing takes time to figure out. we had a new member a couple years back who basically became a second logistics volunteer at a shelter activation and his radio went unmonitored for like 45 minutes while he was helping sort donations. EC wasn't thrilled lol. not throwing anyone under the bus it's just one of those things you learn. sounds like your instincts were good though asking the question is the right first step

yeah the timing thing is huge and way underrated. ive noticed that the guys who just hammer away calling constantly are almost never the ones who get through. the DX operator hears a mush of signals and just cant pull anyone out. if you time it so your call lands slightly after the big rush you stand out more — at least thats been my experience on 20m.
one thing i'd add is working on your sent audio. ran into a situation where i upgraded my amp and suddenly my signal reports went way up but i was still struggling in pileups. turns out my mic was garbage and i was sending this thin scratchy audio that just didnt cut through. swapped to a different mic, did some eq tweaking, and its noticably better. a clean punchy signal helps a lot more than just raw power.
also for split operation — dont just guess at where theyre listening. actually listen to where the successful QSOs are happening and put yourself in that part of the passband. i usually tune around 1 to 5 up from where the DX is transmitting and see where the action is rather than just calling on some random frequency in the spread.